Looks can be Deceiving

So, I wanted to get someone to redo my garden tiles. A friend recommended someone to me, but he didn’t feel quite right for the job so I tried going on a website, NoCowboys, which has various companies and tradesmen registered on it.

I found a guy nearby who had reviews like “Reliable” “Professional work” “Reasonable pricing” and I got him around soon after for a quote. I heard a knock on the door, right on time, and opened it to see this really young guy standing there. 

As I explained that I want this done this way and I want this over here done like this he’d just reply “Oh, yeah?” It was the complete opposite of the previous guy who kept saying “Should we do this instead?” and recommending things that would cost a lot. But from time to time he would comment, making the crucial points you’d expect of a professional and when I asked him how long he’d been doing this for he said “12 years”.  Then, on top of that, he said “I’m taking my seven-year old boy skiing this weekend” (!)

As the reviews predicted, his quote was very reasonable and I was quite taken with his unassuming personality, so I decided to hire him. 

The following week he appeared as per our appointment (being on time and keeping to appointments might be commonplace in Japan, but in this country it deserves special mention!) accompanied by another even younger man.

When I asked this other guy “Is this a part-time job?” he smiled back happily and told me that he was currently an apprentice, but that in the future it’s looking like he’ll be taken on to join his boss’s company.  

On the day when the boys were onto the final stages of the tiling I happened to be at home and was able to observe how they worked. The apprentice seemed to be left entirely to do the physical labour. The boss, in constant consultation with me, made sure the tiles lined up properly, all the while muttering things like “maybe it’s a bit too perfect…”

When I asked him “Where’d you learn all of this?” he said he’d trained under his father for a few years and then worked for a company for a while after that. After that he struck out on his own and that’s how it’s been all the way up to now. And I found out his youngest daughter is 2 years old.

I said “Well, it must be hard getting woken up in the middle of the night” and the younger guy said “Sure is! Me, I’ve got a two and half year old!”

This kid has a kid?!

The sun had started beating down hard. They were both down to just t-shirts and had huge tattoos along their arms.

“I hated studying so I dropped out of school”.

These boys must have been wild teenagers. Smoking, drinking, drugs… there are so many temptations for rebellious youths.

Or so I thought.

“That was an insane time, but I’m glad it’s over”

“Totally! I can’t believe how much I used to drink. Alcohol is so bad for you!”

“Yeah. That’s why I don’t drink anymore and I try to eat healthy.”

“When you become a parent, you start thinking about stuff like that.”

These kinds of words don’t really line up with the “tattooed builder” stereotype.

Compared to some lawyers you get who are practically alcoholics and company executives pickling themselves with junk food, these young guys are astoundingly wise.

Perhaps it’s thanks to going off the rails in their teens that they were able to learn such an important lesson as this. You really can’t judge people based on their appearance. At the same time, I think there’s a valuable lesson for parents here.

When you’re freaking out, because your child has strayed a little off the path, don’t worry so much and put your trust in a higher power. It might be that they’re doing it in order to learn something important.

My younger daughter was pretty wild in her teens, but she found her way back and she’s grown up to be a wise, sensible and empathetic person.

If we understand that a child’s soul has reasons all its own and if it chooses a path like that, we need to trust that they will find their way back someday, and just quietly watch over them… I feel that that’s what a parent’s role is.

When I came home on the final day of the job, the tiling had been beautifully finished and my whole garden was spick and span. 

So, thanks to my tradies for teaching me yet another great lesson!

[You can find the original post 「人は見かけによらず」in Japanese here.]