A colleague at work told me that last week she spent a day in hospital for gallstones and that, since then, she has been taking painkillers five times a day while still coming to work. She thankfully survived last year’s restructuring, but she says that she’s hounded by her workload being 1.5 times what it was before and she doesn’t even have time to catch her breath. When I told her “stress is the root of sickness”, she denied any connection between her illness and her job. I don’t know what her real motives were – if she didn’t want to show weakness to a colleague or if she genuinely thinks that stress and sickness are separate – but it seemed excruciating.
As technology has advanced and so many
things have become easier now that we don’t have to do them all by hand, you’d
think we’d be able to have some breathing room… But, at the same time, the
number of workers is decreased and the people that are left, instead of having that
breathing room, are busier than ever. Faced with this situation, people often say
“Such is the way of the times (there’s nothing you can do)”. As someone who
isn’t mainstream I’m surprised by this kind of submissiveness, but I too came
under pressure from the wave of streamlining as it unrelentingly surged toward
me.
One of the
things one could do is to reduce the amount of work. That
being said, my workload was actually the same as before, but I couldn’t get the
same salary level for just doing that, so, I went ahead and took a pay cut. I
had never even considered this option, but ask and it shall be given unto you. And,
these past few years, I’ve repeatedly chosen to reduce my workload further. I’ve
passed the work that I’ve cut down on to other academic staff and, rather than
having any kind of negative economic impact on the office, it has brought about
a cost-effective and efficient result. It’s a total coup.
Even though the university and my
colleagues are happy with the adjustment and it’s all going smoothly,
personally, it’s a decision that takes real courage, right? At least, that’s
what I think. It’s work that I’ve put my passion into, and there has been some nervousness
about whether things will be ok with my reduced income. But, once I let go,
there wasn’t anything that I missed. And on top of that, I was happier than
anything to get that time and space. So, I want to say to all the people whose
situation seems dire “Just let go!” Things will still be ok if you let go.
But, generally, no matter how dire the
situation, it’s not that easy to let go. The world not only never reproaches super
busy people, but instead it honours and applauds them. Being busy means
prosperity, success, and is proof that you are in demand. I’m so busy = I’m
doing well. Tonnes of us believe that “having things to do = having worth”.
Having nothing to do = boring = useless
Having nothing to do = because I can’t =
incompetence
Having nothing to do = not sought after =
worthless
This kind of template gets extended and
drives people who “aren’t doing” into anxiety. We desperately set
about doing all sorts of things, trying to fill up the gaps in our schedule
so that we don’t end up in the pitiable position of having nothing to do. Maybe
the reason why lots of us freak out unless we always have something to do, or
tend to get depressed on our days off, is because we can’t really reconcile us as “not
doing anything”.
But we need
to have some buffers in life, right? My colleague with
the gallstones says that whenever someone is off sick, that person’s work gets
passed on, on top of her
“1.5 workload”. Assigning a spare person to be able to
cover in emergencies, well that’s just wasteful isn’t it.
At first glance, it seems pointless, but in
those times when you’re not doing anything, there are amazing flashes of
inspiration. It’s precisely because you have no plans that you’re able to take
last minute requests and invitations, and it is a truly joyous thing to be able
to inefficiently pass away the idle hours together.
As Tsuji Shinichi of the Sloth Club
says: Love is “wasting time for someone else’s sake”. He calls for people to “leave
a life being chased by “things to do””. To go from “I have to” to “I don’t have
to”…
We don’t have to work so hard and do all
these different things. Because we are worth enough, just by being where we are.
